Most of the people around me are excited about me being pink and sometimes that does get exhausting. I was talking about this a while ago. When we were doing the Schiedam’s project and I was wearing all pink and I had my little presentation, and it was also all pink, seven people took out their phones to take a picture of me. Without asking why I was doing a presentation.

And shit like that does get exhausting. Because I get that it looks weird, but can I live?So moment like that are kind of weird. But also in clubs people would be weird about it, just in a very interested and “I want to know” mood, and I am like “I don’t know you, get out of my space!”

I haven’t missed that since isolation started. It’s been really nice not to have strangers getting to my space.

I remember somewhere this year I was with a friend and we were at the shopping center, really close to where my mom lives. In that shopping center I’ve been cat called so many times, for as long as I can remember, since I was 14. I also didn’t dare to go alone there for a pretty long time. I also didn’t dare to go in trains or metros because of people.

But I remember being there with her, we got catcalled by guy, he said “Kinky whore!” , when I spoke up to him he started following us, yelling. For me that wasn’t that special of an experience, because I was just like “Dudes be dudes…” but for her it was the first time that she got catcalled and it was this year! And we’re both 20/21. So yeah this has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. And now my catcalls are very different from when used to look more “normal”, for example when I had my braids and I wore two clothing items instead of eight. And when I wore mostly blue and brown and grey.  I always changed the way I dressed to avoid being catcalled. Because the clothes I wear inside my house are so different from the ones that I wear outside. I have so many tight high socks and mini skirts and tight corset tops and I would never wear them outside because I don’t want people to look at my titties and my ass while I’m just trying to do grocery or so.

I had grey braids and then I went bold when I was still living with my mom, so when I was still in high school. It was a pretty accepting environment and pretty diverse as well. My second high school is in Rotterdam. So not that much changed since I finally moved to Rotterdam except being around more people that feel the same way I do.